One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine
🚨 It's the Ten Fuel Commandments 🚨
🚨 It's the Ten Fuel Commandments 🚨
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| Your gels taste like salted butthole I have the honor to be Your obedient servant, R. Runs |
Number one
The challenge, to run while you're eating
If you got this down already
Then no need for further reading
Number two
If you don't, grab a snack, call it "real food"
Post on Instagram nonstop
About how it makes you feel good
Number three
Have a second food ready in place
Tailwind, gels, or soda
In case you think you might puke out your face
This is commonplace, 'specially for new recruits
Most nausea subsides, and no one boots
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| "Hot wings were a bad idea" "Shh, I know, I know" |
Number four
If you don't know what to eat, that's okay
Pack a variety, train for half a day
You nibble this and that, you eat to your ability
You make a mental note how it affects your agility
Five
Fuel before the sun is in the sky
Find a place to poop before you toe the line
Number six
Leave a drop bag with your next of kin
Tell 'em where your runnin'
Pray that Hardrock some day lets you in
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| And when I meet Dale Garland I'mma compel him to include more new runners in the lottery Work! |
Seven
Race briefing, force a grin
Ready for the moment of adrenaline when you finally face your opponent
Number eight
Your last chance to get your head on straight
Talk to your crew, see if they can talk some sense to you
"Hey crew member"
"Yo Ry Runs, son"
"Can we agree that ultras are dumb and not always fun?"
"Done"
"But it's either face my demons or run"
"All damn day? We both know that's absurd, son"
"Hang on, how many men cope in ways that are even more financially ruinous?"
"Okay, so we're doin' this"
Number nine
Shoot for your stretch goal, aim no higher
Summon all the barf bags you require
Then count
One two three four
Five six seven eight nine
We'll need
Ten pacers
Fuck it
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| You say this race is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when it is gone |
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